I Wanted To Be Nonchalant

          Around here, we always thought leaders need time to work things out. But they aren’t doing that. The “leaders” are accomplishing nothing.

          Minimum Wage? Taxpayers are subsidizing poverty wages with costly social programs because it’s the right thing to do. But the minimum wage needs to be raised immediately, with increases linked to cost of living so we don’t have to pass a new law when costs go up. Congress is doing nothing.

          Immigration reform? Congress is doing nothing. Waiting to get re-elected and letting the lives of lots of good people go to Hell.

          Climate change mitigation? Congress is doing nothing. Denying the problem exists or denying the science, and kicking the can down the short road.

          Job creation and economic recovery? Congress did everything it needs to do—the stock market is fine, and the rabble aren’t marching yet.

          Gun legislation? Ha Ha Ha! What most Americans agree on (background checks and closing the gun show and mail order loopholes) doesn’t matter. So, Congress is doing nothing.

          Voting rights? Thing of the past. In many states, restrictions are being placed on voters. Congress is doing nothing.

          Too Big To Fail? Those huge financial houses are even bigger than they were when taxpayers saved them last time. NO private bank should be too big to fail. Instead, Congressmen retire to those big institutions! Congress is doing nothing.

          Your issue? Don’t be surprised to learn that Congress is doing nothing, and that being patient gets you more of the same!

Wiley Stinks Chef Entrepreneur

          Our chef, Wiley Stinks had a great idea. “That Stinks!” said my wife, Ducky Bumps, after I explained the plan. I wanted to help, but didn’t have enough to financially back him. Obviously, I had to find other ways to help Wiley.

           His idea was “The Recliner Diner,” where people could eat like they do at home. Each customer sat in a recliner, in front of a TV, with headphones. There was no talking. Diners chose food from TV menus and then picked a show to watch. Food was brought out on paper plates, along with either paper towels, or if they paid extra, cloth hand towels. Occasionally, food would be served with flimsy plastic knives, forks, and/or spoons. Cup holders were placed over chair arm rests for plastic cups of customers’ beverages of choice. Drink choices were bread/milk smoothies, sodas, sports drinks, or just plain corn syrup.

           The best way I could help was to paint the signs that said, “Please tip 25% or more—we have to clean these chairs!” I did them in old saloon style lettering.

           Ducky Bumps did the decorating, plastering the walls with pictures of handguns and football memorabilia, so I also had to do signs that said, “No throwing, and no packing.”

           I am sorry to report that the Recliner Diner lasted only a short time, and to add that Wiley has asked for a raise. He also wants to sell smoothies and recliners in front of our house. I’m painting the signs.

It’s Time!

           It’s time for citizens to start messing with cable TV and internet providers. If you’re not getting all the cable channels you want, and none that you don’t want for less than $25 per month, without bundling (the penultimate joke), then you are paying to line somebody’s pockets with your hard-earned cash. You are being made a fool of by greedy corporate folks with nothing to do but fill the time you buy with lucrative and annoying commercials. Why are there commercials on cable?

           Whatever happened to the idea that customers could choose each channel they want and pay only for what they want? I know it’s not the most important ball in the air right now, but somebody should start an initiative to mandate cafeteria selection and fair pricing of cable offerings. Write a screaming letter to the FCC and Congress.

          What’s going on with free broadcast TV? Even cable users should be actively supporting the maintenance of free TV. It gives them leverage to keep prices from skyrocketing further and gives them an alternative if cable providers get too high-handed. Write to the FCC and Congress.

           Internet access should be free to all, and MUCH faster. Chattanooga Tennessee did it. Let’s get the ball rolling. Write to the FCC and your state legislators.

           Around here, we know if enough people join in, decision makers will listen. Problem is it takes LOTS of people. Don’t you think these charlatans have messed with us long enough? Don’t you think it’s time?

A Tax Idea

           We hear so much about corporations (1 out of 4 or 5) that pay no federal taxes. We know that billions of dollars worth of help, through deductions and incentives, are lavished on businesses every year.

           What would happen if every dollar’s worth of state and federal tax benefits to businesses were taxed by states as income? Including the cost of social services due to poverty wages, and the cost of benefits withheld from part-time workers.

           Here’s how it would work. Say that in 2014, businesses with 50 or more employees, and franchise installations with any number of employees, received $240 billion in federal tax benefits. They would owe each state a share of tax revenue on their $240 billion in benefits, say $4.8 billion of income to be taxed by each state. Any state that did not have a robust state income tax would of course forego significant revenue. The $240 billion could be allotted equally at 2% per state. Thus Wyoming could get the same amount to tax as Georgia, etc.

           Furthermore, state Legislatures could reduce business tax liabilities by granting incentives for actual (VS. promised) job creation or quantifiable tax generating commercial activity in the state, etc.

           Around here, we think freaky ideas like this will help end the obstruction of comprehensive reasonable tax reform in America. Congress needs to end partisan bickering and reform taxes. And a flat tax is NOT the answer. That’s just another freaky idea being pimped around to comfort the comfortable.

Bainwarble’s Little Acre

          I recently noticed Bainwarble weeding and sprinkling around a spot in the yard. When I went to investigate, I discovered a foot-high clump of marijuana, apparently thriving on his attention. “I talk to it two or three times a day,” he said. “Sometimes I sing classic country songs to it, under my breath.”

           I’m game I decided, and rendered a few bars of “Cowboys they are ladies men alright…” but then I noticed Glassshard frowning and shaking his head. “WHAT,” I demanded!??

           “You have to stop! You’ll make it sick! It only understands Welsh! It was a gift from God, dropped by some bird, so I sing to it in God’s own language, which of course is Welsh.”

           Ducky Bumps and I were returning from Colorado days later when, as we relaxed at a rest stop, I told her about “Bainwarble’s little acre.”

           “Are you going to turn him in,” she wondered?

           “Spwffsss’ I sputtered! “You’re joking. He’ll never find a useful banker in jail! No, I’m going to help him harvest.” Just then an Edsel with a “Nixon” bumper sticker screeched to a halt nearby. The driver raced into the restroom carrying something green. In less than a second, a Highway Patrolman ran in after him, and hauled him out in handcuffs, “groceries” and all. I looked at Ducky Bumps.

           “Don’t do it, NO,” She winced! She shook her head from side to side, but I said it anyway:

“There but for the grass of God go I !”

The Business Bonus Boondoggle Act

            Our patriotic friends in the House of Representatives have turned the Jobs For America Act into the biggest business bonus boondoggle of the decade.  Here's why: Every couple of years lately, Congress has re-authorized a bonus depreciation provision  supposedly helpful in mitigating the Great Recession.  It allows businesses to accelerate depreciation on assets that would normally take years to reach zero.  This is not a cheap thrill for taxpayers, but the idea (allegedly) was to spur business expansion.

            Congress' own Congressional Research Service has told these patriots that this action does not help create business investment or jobs.  But their lofty intellects can't grasp factual information contrary to their beliefs.  When the corporate donations come rolling in, it's hard not to be a believer!  Instead, they passed several measures last year to permanently extend bonus depreciation and otherwise line business' pockets. Fortunately their attempts went nowhere in the Senate.

            So, this year our patriotic House friends tacked permanent conversion, plus a diaper-load of other expensive goodies for business, on to the Jobs For America Act.  Facts indicate the provisions will not create jobs.  Instead they will create bigger federal deficits.  But, clinging to their corporate coat-tails, our House patriots slammed it to the taxpayers again, to the tune of half a trillion dollars over the next ten years.  

            Around Here we think the Act should be called The Business Bonus Boondoggle Act, at least until the bonus depreciation and other wasteful parts go into the trash where they belong.