The New Butler

            Well, we finally hired a butler.  But I saved a lot of money by taking a man who speaks only his native Welsh.  The communication gap poses its problems, but I’m smiling all the way to the bank.  His name is Bainwarble.  My wife, Ducky Bumps, said, “Oh, that’s nice.  What’s his last name?” 

“It’s Bainwarble,” I said.  “His first name is Glassshard.  He came to this country to start over.  He’s a coloratura baritone who was kicked out of his singing group back home.  Something about air quality in the choir loft, I don’t know.”

“That’s very sad,” she sniffed.  At that exact moment, Bainwarble glided into the room, looking very much like the Adams family’s Lurch.  He extended an exquisite Correlle platter bearing plastic tumblers of iced tea, bowing and grinning at Ducky Bumps.  “Oh, I don’t want any right now,” she said.  Bainwarble bowed even more deeply, grinning and nodding ‘yes’ and kept the platter before her.

“He’s a big man, somewhat frightening,” I said, “and he doesn’t understand.  Just take a glass, dear.”  Then he placed the other glass on my table, still bowing and smiling.  “Thank you Bainwarble,” I nodded, “that will be all for now!”  

His smile widened and he said, “Mae gen i gynluniau ar gyfer chi,” which I assume is a flowery Welsh phrase meaning something like, ‘Thank you my general.’ It really warms the heart when you know that the people who work for you find you worthy of their esteem.

PACk of Scoundrels

          This just in...The first charlatans have arrived to brighten up Nebraska's 2014 Gubernatorial campaign.  Somebody taking pot shots at John Bruning in a TV political ad.  If you think the money, or the PAC that is spending it, is from Nebraska, you are mistaken.  We're not particular fans of Bruning or the remainder of those seeking the primary win.  But we are particularly disgusted with outside PAC Jerks pretending they have any well-intentioned interest in what's best for Nebraskans.  Because it just ain't so.  
          You can bet your sweet assets this PACk of carpetbaggers is interested in something quite selfish--it's own political agenda, which is not evident in the ad.   The purpose is to manipulate people into hating, or at least disliking someone.  They know if they get to you emotionally, they can influence your vote.  They're saving for later the glorious un-sheeting of the "Desired One" whom we should all love.
          Our preference is for a clean issue-oriented campaign.  But of course that's not real world politics.  Never has been.  Voters who want information about issues can just go...hunt for it.  Meanwhile, we have to take the campaigning for the comedy that it is.  So around here, our attitude is, "O.K. boys, open up your sacks and spread out your lies and distortions.  We'll just watch you push peoples' buttons.  It'll tell us a lot about you.  Sad, disappointing, frightened you."   

Today's Tricky Code Talkers

            While the first use of Code Talkers in military operations came in 1918, we usually think of them as the Navajo patriots who helped U.S. Marines during World War Two.   With their native language based code, they saved thousands of lives and helped our country prevail in countless battles.  They were heroes among heroes.

            Today's America has code talkers, but many people don't know about them.  They use ordinary English words that have a special meaning for careful listeners.  I got a letter from one recently.  It explained my code talker's exact intentions, expecting all the while to convey a very different, superficial meaning.  The real 'clinger' in the letter was the idea that in dealing with runaway spending, congress is the crusader and not the runaway spender.  My Rep probably thought I wouldn't notice all those tax breaks that fritter away America's prosperity.  The message about an urgent need for spending reform was code for, “Keep the tax breaks and cut spending on food for the hungry, Medicaid and Social Security!”  You have probably gotten one of these boiler-plate letters from your code talker.  They are ubiquitous.  Code talkers know the messages don't have to be true to have an impact, just relentless.  So every speech, every letter, every slanted survey gets the treatment.

            Twenty-first century code talkers exhibit less empathy for Americans in need than for the comfort of the oligarchs who spend millions to get them elected.  And you may have noticed that the ones they got elected to congress haven't moved the needle for most of us.  They have instead been busily against affordable health care, job creation, safety net programs, and a decent living wage, except for themselves.   Their behavior may be a shameful insult to the altruism of the original Code Talkers, but it fools a lot of people, and it attracts big money.

Book Reviews: Reckless Endangerment, Operation Narcissus

Reckless Endangerment  Morgenson, Gretchen and Joshua Rosner, Times Books, Henry Holt & Co, 2011

Jan 2014 This is a detailed and sad chronicle of avarice, malfeasance, “me first” management, “old-boy-net” interdependent thievery, and political manipulation for personal gain, at the worldwide expense of ordinary people and duped investors.  It is a fish-eye into the financial industry, the Fed, and captive regulators.  It is the true story of the people who wrecked the world’s economy and were never brought to justice.  Don’t read it unless you want to know just how badly taxpayers and investors got screwed by a cadre of political and financial industry jerks whose work goes on unhindered to this day.  Don’t read it unless you want to be able to say you are paying attention.  Read it.

Operation Narcissus   Col. Barney Oldfield, Pandick Press, 1978

Jan 2014 An engaging slice of World War II life in England and France, complete with intrigue, bravery, love and dedication.  This is an intricate fiction in which several sub-plots are maintained during the time immediately preceding and after the Normandy invasion.  It is a long book, 429 pages of fine print.  The story comes gracefully to its WW II-era dénouement.  If you’ve got the time, it’s worth the climb.          

Simple Confusion

            There is evidently confusion about what constitutes a “free market.”  If a market commodity’s quantity of production is restricted by regulations and/or if that quantity of production is influenced by tax policies, it is not a free market.  If measures are put into place to “stabilize prices” either by a trade group or a government, it is not a free market.  If government trade policy prevents competitive imports and/or if producers are subsidized in hedging against production failure, it is not a free market.

            The most recent confusion was exhibited by someone talking about government intervention in the dairy industry.  The speaker said he wanted the free dairy market to be unhindered by too much government control.  The dairy industry is not a free market industry.  It is a managed market industry.  Anyone who says it is a free market endeavor is simply confused. 

When you hear the hue and cry for government to leave dairy farmers alone to function in a free market, they are not talking about subsidies and tax breaks and price fixing.  Nobody in the industry (and perhaps nobody who consumes dairy products) wants those to go away.  That part of the managed market is OK.

Congress, assuming they can function, will patch it together in the farm bill.  Meanwhile around here, we think American industry spokespeople should up the integrity with which they represent hard working producers.  Stop waving the “free market” flag and tell it like it really is, or talk about something else.

Barking at the Light

            There is a light shining in the hearts of Americans.  It is seen whenever tragedy tries to steal its glow by blowing or burning or flooding away the things, and sometimes the loved ones, of our lives.  As survivors begin picking up pieces, Americans everywhere generously give time and money to help, and the light shines brightly indeed.  Kansas or Missouri, Texas or New Jersey, Carolina or Illinois, and even in faraway lands.

            This light of human compassion emanates from our conviction of shared responsibility for each other’s well being.  It is the light that embarrasses our tolerance of hunger and poverty in our midst.  It burns brightly in each of us individually, and is darkened sometimes when we act in groups and fall victim to fear and selfishness.  Then the story is unimaginatively, monotonously familiar:  we must sacrifice the well being of others for the sake of our future and that of our children and grand children.  Let the poor suffer for their own bad choices, and let the hungry eat cake.  Two simplistic, historically tragic ideas, comprising a valueless choice.  It is a reality-free proposal, as pointless as dogs worriedly woofing when the window shades are opened and the bewildering outside world sets them off.

            Around here, whether it’s food stamps, unemployment insurance, or other helpful programs, we too often suffer the selfishness of privileged people who, like little yapping dogs barking at the light, proclaim all the things we should not do for those in need.