The Least Worst Choice

In one remarkable political ad we’ve seen, the 21st Century version of Ian Flemming’s thug, Odd Job, knocks an Obama bobble-head doll off a post with utter scorn and brags how he stood with our Governor against availing 50,000 needy Nebraskans of affordable health care by preventing Medicaid expansion. He wants you to know he was a brick in the wall of obstruction that has been thrown in front of America’s progress and recovery.

The gubernatorial Primary is looking bleak. We’ve got “Daddy Stock Bucks” who wants to change the way government works (code for more breaks for the wealthy), “Beau Brummel” Bruning another solid brick who fought affordable health care and says he “won”, although it’s not clear anyone else did. And “Odd Job” McCoy, who thinks it’s cool to symbolically smack the POTUS to the ground.

Around here we think these three belong in the private sector. We don’t need an oligarch for Governor. We don’t need a wannabe oligarch either. "Beau Brummel" Bruning says he has a plan to reduce property tax revenue. Shifty. And C’mon, “Odd Job” McCoy’s behavior is just crude. Nebraskans don’t want someone who seems like a thug in the mansion. That may play well on TV, but in real life? Really?

Then, Carlson & Slone, fine men in whose corners the odds makers are not, should be scratched. To paraphrase Conan Doyle, When you’ve eliminated the ones you don’t want for this who-should-do-it primary, the one that remains is the least worst choice. Mike Foley has been quietly keeping state government honest for years.

How to Freeze Out Aggressors

          Those of us who are not CIA insiders may never know who dropped the ball in Ukraine. The internationally innocent among us may never learn how much the west’s failure to financially underpin Ukraine has impacted its political stability. And we probably will not get a contemporary account of how bad Ukraine’s government (the one we supposedly support) really is. It IS certain that our national broadcast news media will fail us in these matters. They’re too busy pimping their commercial wares, and parading hotties, to actually do news. If you doubt that, ask yourself how much they have actually taught you about how the US Congress works, and about the bills it passes.

          It does seem clear however, that Putin and his minions are going to continue encroaching on their neighbors, and generally behaving like they want a rematch of the Cold War (they lost the last one). The frightening thing is that Putin may be the best Russia has, in the way of leaders able to moderate that country’s behavior.

           Around here, we support coordinated international sanctions against Russians to encourage such moderation. It won’t work of course, but it’s good because it promotes dialogue and perhaps even consensus about discouraging aggression. In America, sanctions once imposed ought to be permanent. The perpetrators of aggression, Russian or otherwise, and their beneficiaries, should be excluded from everything America might offer, and our courts should proceed with permanent action against all their assets. Or are we just playing games here?

Bainwarble Settles In

          We are pleased with our new butler, Glassshard Bainwarble. We didn’t need help in our little cabin, but now that we’ve moved into this huge house, well, you understand. Not that it’s a mansion. There isn’t actually enough room for Bainwarble to stay in the house, so he lives in a camper out in the alley. I think he’s happy about the three-bucket outdoor shower we had installed beside the Sanitation Nation outhouse that we rent for him—he plays the trumpet out there.

           I didn’t want a butler until we moved in. One bright morning, I kissed my wife, Ducky Bumps, and embarked on a tour of the place, starting with the basement. Before I finished, I had to call her on the cell phone and tell her I’d be late for lunch. It was nearly tea when I stumbled back to my starting point. “Ducky Bumps,” I gasped, “this place is huge. I got lost twice. How about some pie?”

           “It’s 800 square feet! You got lost because you never pay attention. You get no pie because you never pay the cook!”

           “Seems reasonable,” I muttered, “Wait! You’re the cook! It isn’t me; I wouldn’t pay myself.” She just tapped her index finger on her temple and nodded.

           Bainwarble entered, crouching through the back door, natty as ever in a lint free tuxedo, black bow tie, and patent leather shoes, no sox. I’ll have to speak to him about that. “Tea!” he grunted, uttering his first English word.

Corporations are People, Money is Speech

         If corporations are people, they ought to be taxed like people. That refrain is climbing the charts these days. Most people don’t know how corporations are taxed, but believe the burden bears no resemblance to the withholding they suffer each payday. The feeling probably relates to stories of lucrative corporations that pay no tax—that even get ‘refunds’ from the government because of legislative favoritism. Plus the realization that starvation wages paid ( resulting in the need for Medicaid and food stamps ) are just a way for the government to subsidize the greed of profiteers.

It is a confusing situation, especially since the “Everybody-should-have-skin-in-the-game” whiners don’t seem at all bothered by these corporate ‘people’ who appear to be skinning America alive. Then there are the offshore tax haven users, and the climate change deniers who make us wonder who will get the tab for keeping the rising ocean waters out of Manhattan. It’s no wonder that Americans are 99% pissed.

You can hate the beneficiaries all you want, but the problem lies with congress. Legislation creates favoritism and profiteering, and legislation can stop it. While congress dithers, obstructs, and throws away America’s wealth, it’s no secret who the real takers are in this country.

Around here, we kind of favor the “Money-is-speech” concept. When we hear the deficit hawks and “obstruct-it-alls” and the “our-way-of-life” seducers and the “taking-care-of-the-needy-costs-too-much” gluttons say the government is our problem, we say, “Twenty dollar me another sad story, spoiler!” or “Grant me a break!”

The New Butler

            Well, we finally hired a butler.  But I saved a lot of money by taking a man who speaks only his native Welsh.  The communication gap poses its problems, but I’m smiling all the way to the bank.  His name is Bainwarble.  My wife, Ducky Bumps, said, “Oh, that’s nice.  What’s his last name?” 

“It’s Bainwarble,” I said.  “His first name is Glassshard.  He came to this country to start over.  He’s a coloratura baritone who was kicked out of his singing group back home.  Something about air quality in the choir loft, I don’t know.”

“That’s very sad,” she sniffed.  At that exact moment, Bainwarble glided into the room, looking very much like the Adams family’s Lurch.  He extended an exquisite Correlle platter bearing plastic tumblers of iced tea, bowing and grinning at Ducky Bumps.  “Oh, I don’t want any right now,” she said.  Bainwarble bowed even more deeply, grinning and nodding ‘yes’ and kept the platter before her.

“He’s a big man, somewhat frightening,” I said, “and he doesn’t understand.  Just take a glass, dear.”  Then he placed the other glass on my table, still bowing and smiling.  “Thank you Bainwarble,” I nodded, “that will be all for now!”  

His smile widened and he said, “Mae gen i gynluniau ar gyfer chi,” which I assume is a flowery Welsh phrase meaning something like, ‘Thank you my general.’ It really warms the heart when you know that the people who work for you find you worthy of their esteem.

PACk of Scoundrels

          This just in...The first charlatans have arrived to brighten up Nebraska's 2014 Gubernatorial campaign.  Somebody taking pot shots at John Bruning in a TV political ad.  If you think the money, or the PAC that is spending it, is from Nebraska, you are mistaken.  We're not particular fans of Bruning or the remainder of those seeking the primary win.  But we are particularly disgusted with outside PAC Jerks pretending they have any well-intentioned interest in what's best for Nebraskans.  Because it just ain't so.  
          You can bet your sweet assets this PACk of carpetbaggers is interested in something quite selfish--it's own political agenda, which is not evident in the ad.   The purpose is to manipulate people into hating, or at least disliking someone.  They know if they get to you emotionally, they can influence your vote.  They're saving for later the glorious un-sheeting of the "Desired One" whom we should all love.
          Our preference is for a clean issue-oriented campaign.  But of course that's not real world politics.  Never has been.  Voters who want information about issues can just go...hunt for it.  Meanwhile, we have to take the campaigning for the comedy that it is.  So around here, our attitude is, "O.K. boys, open up your sacks and spread out your lies and distortions.  We'll just watch you push peoples' buttons.  It'll tell us a lot about you.  Sad, disappointing, frightened you."   

Today's Tricky Code Talkers

            While the first use of Code Talkers in military operations came in 1918, we usually think of them as the Navajo patriots who helped U.S. Marines during World War Two.   With their native language based code, they saved thousands of lives and helped our country prevail in countless battles.  They were heroes among heroes.

            Today's America has code talkers, but many people don't know about them.  They use ordinary English words that have a special meaning for careful listeners.  I got a letter from one recently.  It explained my code talker's exact intentions, expecting all the while to convey a very different, superficial meaning.  The real 'clinger' in the letter was the idea that in dealing with runaway spending, congress is the crusader and not the runaway spender.  My Rep probably thought I wouldn't notice all those tax breaks that fritter away America's prosperity.  The message about an urgent need for spending reform was code for, “Keep the tax breaks and cut spending on food for the hungry, Medicaid and Social Security!”  You have probably gotten one of these boiler-plate letters from your code talker.  They are ubiquitous.  Code talkers know the messages don't have to be true to have an impact, just relentless.  So every speech, every letter, every slanted survey gets the treatment.

            Twenty-first century code talkers exhibit less empathy for Americans in need than for the comfort of the oligarchs who spend millions to get them elected.  And you may have noticed that the ones they got elected to congress haven't moved the needle for most of us.  They have instead been busily against affordable health care, job creation, safety net programs, and a decent living wage, except for themselves.   Their behavior may be a shameful insult to the altruism of the original Code Talkers, but it fools a lot of people, and it attracts big money.