How Ordinary People Demand Justice

           Hoss Studd, my old college pal stopped by. I poured coffee and made the mistake of mentioning congress.

           “Folks jes have to quit bein' stupid, R.R.  If your guy or gal in Congress is working for a Party boss, or some cash-totin' creep, instead of for you, it's time for a fresh pony. Complainin' don't get the job done. A letter to Congress is a fine exercise in civics, but voting is what counts. If you don't like either candidate, or if there's only one to vote for, write in someone. Even if you can't beat 'em. Heck, write in a critter. Twenty percent of the vote for a write-in named Landfill Rat, now that sends a message. And if Landfill Rat wins, you're still ahead.

           Some will tell ya it's stupid to throw away your vote. My answer is, take a good look at what the last vote got you. Damn it, JUST VOTE! It's how ordinary folks demand justice. 'Specially in local and state elections. You think who gets to be sheriff or mayor or state legislator don't matter? Now THAT'S stupid. You think your Congressman won't mis-direct, side-step, and fill the air with flowery double-speak to hide how he screwed generations of people so's those very people will vote for him? THAT'S stupid.”

           “Hoss! You're ranting.”

           “No I ain't, R.R.”

           “Hoss, I hear what you're saying. Hell, everybody on the block probably heard it.

Have a gulp of coffee, and let's talk about clowns or something!

           “I was.”

The Yak Fat Diet

          Jack Spratt's Yak Fat diet has all the essentials for success. You know, so many diets require you to learn dozens of recipes—you have to become a specialty chef just to get through your already busy day! But the Yak Fat diet is simple—only your nosy neighbors will even guess you're scheming away those pounds!

           This is how it works: Render a yak. Pour into mini-muffin tins (makes about a thousand). Cool tins in the garage. When hungry, spoon a yak fat cake onto wax paper, oil cloth, or even a rusty lid from the work bench. Eat on-the-go, or sit down to a lavish table (no candles!) and enjoy your no-fuss dinner with a glass of sneaky-pete. Only one glass, though, or you'll be in the garage rattling those muffin tins all evening, and never lose an ounce! I recommend an old iron bath tub over a wood fire to do the rendering. Some neighbors will likely come and discuss this with you, but the timid ones will leave you alone. Plus, you can use yak hide to replace the tattered headliner in your Simca!

           Jim of Knuckleroad AR says: “One bite and I knew I'd rather eat dust off the window sills. I did for months. I lost weight in a hurry!” Alice of Pavement NY says: “I tried it and I lost everything (I ever wanted to lose).” We added the part in parentheses. This diet has it all—simplicity, and food that helps you control your appetite!

We Love The Halls Of Ivy

           Former Governor Butler (who said this job was a step up for him) ushered me in to my weekly coffee at the University President’s 18,000 square foot residence. Butler Butler showed me past the atrium to President Hal Savivey’s sumptuous buffet in the fountain court. He announced me, and we three old frat brothers had a cheery moment agreeing we had all found the 'right' work. Hal acknowledged he was the highest paid at $350,000, but said he was surely the lowest paid University President in America.

           When we sat down alone, Hal confided he was having second thoughts about hiring Butler. We sipped and grumbled till Butler returned.

           “Bill at the Power company said the plane trip to Banff is on schedule…and Warren Buffet called again. Also, Obama will meet you in Chicago next Tuesday. Oh, and the Chamber wants some policy advice.” Butler Butler nodded and left.

           “See what I mean,” Hal asked? He should have just posted that to me! Politicians! A bunch of flies feeding on me like a plate of sh—Hello darling!”

           “I hope I haven’t kept you from swearing again! Hello R.R.” Mrs. Savivey glided past us heading for the kitchen.

           “Stealthy woman,” exclaimed Savivey. “As I was saying, my salary barely keeps me in cummerbunds. I need a part-time job!”

           “Well, there's your three cars, and greens fees, this huge house and grounds, plus upkeep, plus the staff, all those expensive parties you throw, the plane trips all over the world for golf and networking, shopping trips to both coasts, your retreat in Costa Rica, your personal trainer and gym membership, the annual ten-day faculty retreat you hold at a national historic site each year, the monthly Department Head luncheons you give, and the developmental seminars at swanky resorts on the coasts. I mean, you could cut back!”

           “No no no,” Hal protested, “all that stuff is paid for by the University. I can't save a dime on any of that! No, my problem is I only have about $150,000 a year to invest. At this rate, I'll have to work forever--.”

           “Sir, your limo is packed and ready,” interrupted Butler.

           “Finally!” Hal stood up. “I'm headed for Canada to ski. Can I drop you anywhere, R.R.?”

          “Thanks anyway, Hal,” I said, looking at Butler and remembering my college loans.

Break Is Over, Everybody Back to Work

           After weeks of relaxation, it’s time to get busy again. Whether you took a “bucket list” destination vacation, basked in the grandeur of our many national, state, and city parks, or simply enjoyed the beauty of your home and neighborhood, here’s hoping you spent quality time with some of the friends and family you love this summer. And enjoyed some interesting activities. This kind of pursuit is what brings to mind the phrase, “What a great country we live in!” (a thought that never occurs in traffic).

          But the beauty of friendships and loved ones, and of nature cannot be denied. Even some significant strangers can captivate us. One such stranger, who died yesterday was Robin Williams. He taught us how to laugh at sometimes terrible situations, and made us feel that everything would be OK. That was his gift to us. We’ll miss him.

           A good friend of ours living in Iowa, has also shown us a thing or two. Energetic, and outgoing, he travels widely, and is a lover of nature. After retiring, he still has little idle time. These days he is focused on photography. We’ve discovered that he has an award winning talent for composition. His work shows the wonder of the world around us that we might otherwise miss. It is his gift to us.

          As we dig back in, let us not fail to see the good, the beautiful, and the light-hearted (even if small) things that life offers. And know that together we’re making it better.

Answering The Tough Questions

          One thing that should make everybody feel positive about America is the fact that a great conversation is going on about what things are proper functions of government. Part of this conversation is conducted shabbily in political campaigns and Party line votes. But some of it, some of it is being conducted honorably by people dedicated to America’s future.

           Should Americans take action as a group to help prevent food insecurity and hunger? Should we ensure that everybody has adequate health care? Should we require that educators maintain a nationwide standard of performance? And should we ensure educational equality through support programs? Should we act together as conservators of our environment and our planet? How should we divide the billions of dollars we spend on tax breaks? Should the things banks do be subject to the common good? Should adequate money be provided by Congress so that the agencies they fund, like the Vets Admin and IRS can effectively do their jobs? Should we be guarding against rules that disenfranchise voters and produce discrimination? Should we do something about college costs? These issues, and many more are part of our great conversation. And our founders offered some insight:

           “We the People of the United States in Order to form a more perfect Union, establish Justice, insure domestic Tranquility, provide for the common defence, promote the general Welfare, and secure the blessings of Liberty to ourselves and our Posterity, do ordain and establish this Constitution for the United States of America.”

Primary Concerns

          We were watching to see if Nebraskans fell for that stupid argument that Pete Rickets was the one to choose for Governor if we wanted a balanced budget. I am proud to say we didn’t. Pete got only 26.5% of the Republican votes cast for Governor, an estimated 9% of Republicans eligible to vote. Meanwhile, 73.5% of Republicans voting for Governor chose somebody else. Who knows what outcome a respectable turnout would have produced. And yes, less than 75% participation is an abandonment of civic duty and a slap in Lady Liberty’s face.  If Republicans prevail in Nebraska in November, just under 58,000 people will have chosen our next Governor. Warms the heart to know so many people care.

           Now the Senate race—that was like the Battle of New Orleans. Sasse had the competition runnin’ thu the briars. It’s good to have the Club for Growth on your side, although I think it is mis-named. Bludgeon for Growth is more like it. Now, Think Progress is carrying a story about Sasse and religious freedom that seems a little unsettling.

           Across the aisle, Domina dominated with 67.5% of the Democratic votes cast for Senator. Pretty good for a lawyer in a hat, but once again the turn out was abysmal.

           Around here we still think a respectable voter turn out, primary and general, gets the working poor, the middle class, and the unemployed back in the game. And to them we say, suit up, show up, and do your duty.

Campaign Diaries 2014

           5/11 As we near the primary, many candidates are standing on Obama’s shoulders, trying to out-conservative each other. Their hench-PACs and C4 committees, buzzing like turbines in the bowels of a great dam, are laying on the dark money in an attempt to criminalize rational thought. If the governing these office seekers will provide is anything like the campaigning they’ve inflicted upon us, we don’t deserve most of them.