Maybe Trucking

            My financial advisor, Titus Boogerworth, called with excitement in his voice to tell me he had placed nearly half of my vast fortune in a new venture.  I can smell a cloud of sarcasm when it wells up like that into a thunderhead and darkens my day.

            “Let’s see,” I retorted, “that would be roughly $48 dollars if I read my last statement correctly.  Why is that exciting?”

            “It’s a great investment,” he continued, ignoring my rude interruption.  “Why, in a matter of months, you’ll need a two wheel cart to move all your money around!  You’re gonna make loan sharks jealous!”

            “Not really even wanting to be noticed by loan sharks, Titus,” I offered.  “What exactly is this A+ investment you’ve found?”

            “It’s Maybe Trucking!  You’re gonna be a rich…

            “See here, Boogerworth,” I snapped (48 bucks is a lot of money).  “It’s maybe trucking?  What else might it be, maybe?  Maybe coin laundries?  Maybe vending machines?”

            “No! It’s trucking.  The owner is my cousin, Fersher Maybe.”  At this point, Titus just faded.  In a tired voice, he said, “Read about it in the trades,” and the signal died like a dropped call.

            I searched out a copy of Cookin’ And Bookin’, the go-to weekly for shippers and truckers.  When I saw the quarter page ad for my new investment, I knew Titus had done it to me again.  I sank into granny low:

Around The World

Around The Clock

Around The Time You Need It

Fersher Maybe