The Yak Fat Diet

          Jack Spratt's Yak Fat diet has all the essentials for success. You know, so many diets require you to learn dozens of recipes—you have to become a specialty chef just to get through your already busy day! But the Yak Fat diet is simple—only your nosy neighbors will even guess you're scheming away those pounds!

           This is how it works: Render a yak. Pour into mini-muffin tins (makes about a thousand). Cool tins in the garage. When hungry, spoon a yak fat cake onto wax paper, oil cloth, or even a rusty lid from the work bench. Eat on-the-go, or sit down to a lavish table (no candles!) and enjoy your no-fuss dinner with a glass of sneaky-pete. Only one glass, though, or you'll be in the garage rattling those muffin tins all evening, and never lose an ounce! I recommend an old iron bath tub over a wood fire to do the rendering. Some neighbors will likely come and discuss this with you, but the timid ones will leave you alone. Plus, you can use yak hide to replace the tattered headliner in your Simca!

           Jim of Knuckleroad AR says: “One bite and I knew I'd rather eat dust off the window sills. I did for months. I lost weight in a hurry!” Alice of Pavement NY says: “I tried it and I lost everything (I ever wanted to lose).” We added the part in parentheses. This diet has it all—simplicity, and food that helps you control your appetite!