Wednesday, October 7, 2015

Bainwarble’s Personal Senator

          Senator was an exemplary coyote. As a Senator, he was typically picaresque. He urinated and dumped on everything Bainwarble treasured until Bainwarble voted him out. Senator became an “outside” canis. Bainwarble built him a doghouse out of old pallets and stuck it by the camper.
Meanwhile, Senator couldn’t support his voracious appetites, so he applied for a government grant. Ducky Bumps said Bainwarble should never have taught him to make an ‘X’ by holding a pencil in his teeth, but it was she who prepared his application. Fortunately, it failed.
           Bainwarble spent weeks cleaning his camper. He scrubbed everything, replaced the mattress, cushions, and rugs, and even wiped down the ceiling. I helped him. Ducky Bumps obliged by yelling at us until we were finished. She said a little adult supervision could do wonders, and told Bainwarble there was a place in politics for anyone who would listen.
           Left temporarily unsupervised, Senator admired a spot behind the fence, on the neighbor’s property. He drug his doghouse and toys over, and became a squatter. The neighbor said it was fine, but when he wanted the spot back for a compost heap, Senator bared his teeth. Bainwarble had to hypnotize him and bring his things home. Senator retaliated by biting the mail carrier, so the Post Office made us rent a box. Then they moved the Post Office two miles away.
           The dog whisperer we hired said Senator wasn’t mean, just opposed to any form of government that didn’t benefit him personally.

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