Unions Are Not The Problem

          For you Gen-Xers, Y-ers, Millennials, and all the rest of us Americans, hard working and hard pressed, here’s a news flash. Unions are not the problem. The “Agitators-with-the-answers” would like you to think so, but it’s just a trick.

           Here’s what unions do. They use the influence created by people who may act in unison, to motivate employers to pay a living wage and provide a safe work environment and benefits. They do it by banding together people with a common cause. They negotiate. Sometimes they walk out. Sometimes they merely inform.

Meanwhile, people have spent lots of YOUR money on campaigns to convince you that unions are your enemy. It’s a lie. Negotiated union benefits also help non-union workers, and supervisors get better wages and treatment. And all those wages multiply as they spread through our communities and strengthen our economy. They buy coffee and shoes and cars and houses and services from people like you.

Is there really someone out there who is so slick or so fat with cash that he or she can buy off or fast-talk away your grasp on reality? Make you think prosperity only comes if all the money goes to wealthy “job creators?” Do you really want less money available to create the demand that keeps you employed? That’s right, it’s demand that creates jobs.

           Around here, we know when unions get money for working people, everybody benefits—it bubbles up. When it goes to corporations and capitalists, it trickles not.

Hoss Studd on The Senators’ Letter

          “I always enjoy visitin’ with ya, R.R. Mighty good coffee too, ‘n I ain’t just bayin’ in the moonlight.” Hoss took another gulp.

           “Hoss, now that you’re here, you know there’s a big controversy over that open letter those 47 Senators sent to Iran. Why do you think they wanted to embarrass Obama so badly?”

           “You got to feed that brain o’ yours better, podner. Obama’s ego was jes’ collateral damage. They don’t care, at least in this deal, about makin’ him look stupid. This deal was about oil!”

           “No, I’m talking about the letter saying Obama’s promises would be cancelled and worthless.”

           “So’m I. Seems those Senators wanted to scuttle the negotiations, and yes they’re talking about nuclear enrichment and all, but you’re forgettin’ something. If the negotiations succeed, the sanctions get lifted. And that means another one, or one and a half million gallons of Iranian oil get put into an already overloaded market. And the price takes a nosedive into the outhouse.

           “Wow! I never thought of that!”

           “Well think about it, R.R. The folks who own those Senators jes’ don’t want that to happen. It would do a little climate change on their profits. Make fracking too expensive too. Besides, what choice did they have? Them Senators, and their backers, decided years ago to stomp all over Obama’s cook fire. You’ve been watchin’ ain’t ya?”

           “Well, he’s been under a pretty consistent storm of attack,” I offered.

           “Genuine non-stop no-hidey-hole swirlin’ bear scat storm, podner. Genuine!”

Bainwarble Secures The Neighborhood

          First citizenship, and then a concealed carry permit. Bainwarble was on a roll. He joined Neighborhood Stop-And-Frisk, and became a stalwart on the night watch. That’s how we came to receive a 3:00 AM telephone call from Police Chief Prowla. It seems Glassshard was securing the neighborhood without the necessary proof of his authorization to carry a concealed firearm.

           “Just take him in, Chief. We’ll collect him after breakfast, and he can come home and get his permit,” I suggested.

           “It’s not that easy,” Prowla responded. “I can’t take him in…”  Ducky Bumps overheard the exchange and interrupted in a whisper, ”Chief Prowla is a convicted felon. He can’t touch Bainwarble’s gun!”

           “Uh…Chief? Can one of your other three officers come and ‘apprehend’ him,” I asked?

           “Well, they’re all three out of town at Sensitivity Training,” Prowla answered. “You know he doesn’t need to be carrying a gun. His yellow Yugo is enough to frighten all but the hardest criminals away. I know your wife has a permit. Can you just send her down here to take this gun home?”

           I knew it was cruel to drag this out, but I couldn’t help myself. “You know Ducky Bumps sleeps with a loaded gun, don’t you Chief,” I asked?

           “Yeah, I’ve heard,” he sighed.

           “Well, would YOU want to wake her up?” Ducky Bumps snickered, and gave away the game. She agreed to go and get the gun, but she arrived with the off-road lights blazing.

Prowla was glad, but he was not happy.

Deemon O'Flaherty's Law of The Letter

            Deemon O’Flaherty, the defense lawyer whose friends all say he could get the Devil into Heaven, stopped by last Pi day bearing a gift.  He said it was 3.14% of a home made pie, the missing remainder of which had been deliciously worthy of the auld sod.  We were half a cup into a fine pot of coffee when our conversation turned to “the letter.”

            “It was NOT treasonous,” he insisted, “for 47 U.S. Senators to sign a letter saying the President’s promises might be worthless.  It was merely petulant, puerile, and the nastiest bit of obstruction since Congress tried to redeem Richard Nixon with the guts of Bill Clinton.  It was a filthy act, but NOT treason!”

            “Well, what about the Logan Act,” I stammered?  “It was at least a felony!  We should get a special prosecutor!”

            “Divil a bit of it, old face!  That wouldn’t produce indictments, it would cost taxpayers a fortune, and simply encourage more ‘stupid human tricks’ by these Legislative Branch simpletons.  And laddie, I’m a taxpayer.

            “No,” he continued, “this is only goin’ to end when ordinary citizens end it.  When they stop tolerating the agitation of ratings-driven journalists, when they give the Divil’s laugh to shallow talking heads, and when they make elections count.”

            “So, never,” I spat!

            “Are ye doin’ yer part?  Are ye writin’ to TV networks and program sponsors?  Are ye expressin’ yerself to Senators and Representatives?  Stamps are cheap.  Bad behavior is best buried by old fashioned letters!”   

Bainwarble Bites The Bullet

          Bainwarble came in from the camper one day looking like he was going to cloud up and rain on somebody’s parade. He’d gotten a letter from his solicitor, Hedrick Chiesbottham, of Cutter, Chiesbottham & Stench, saying the British Government was going to tax him for the estimated value of coal they believed might be under his cemetery plot.

           “That’s nothing,” said Ducky Bumps bitterly, “They tax US on the estimated value of Congressmen for which they charge us about a quarter of a million dollars a year, including perks!”

           “It’s the principle of the thing,” said Bainwarble.
           “You need to sell your cemetery plot and become an American citizen,” we declared in unison. We are solidly behind the ‘build the tax base’ idea: broaden the burden; lighten the load. Besides, we knew that several enterprising landowners were selling cheap cemetery plots in the temporarily dry bed of the Latrine River.

           “Will you help me study for the test,” he asked?

           “We’ll do even better than that,” declared Ducky Bumps, “We’ll buy you the ‘Know-Co’ handbook and the ‘Study Notes’ book on the Constitution! And, take you to a gun show.” That one put Glassshard over the top—he’d been admiring Ducky Bumps’ ordnance collection for some time.

           So Bainwarble studied, and worked, and went to gun shows, and achieved his American citizenship. It was "It’s-a-Wonderful-Life-heartwarming" to see him become a citizen, join a credit union, and learn to shoot.

          We bought him a real “Do Not Enter” sign to use as a gun range target.

Girl Scouts for Congress

            We need to improve the reputation of Congress.  Here’s an idea.  .Let’s have the Girl Scouts take over.  They have proven they are astute money managers, capable of handling serious matters effectively.  They are dedicated.  They are energetic.  They all seem to be able to get along with each other.  They have an outstanding outreach program and highly developed customer relations skills.  Everybody likes their cookies. By all important measures they are responsible and committed to America’s system of economic enterprise.  None of them seems to want to shut down the Girl Scouts, or exclude groups of girls from the benefits of membership.  They work hard.  Probably more than three days a week.  They don’t seem to have any “gotcha” tricks up their sleeves—they’re just focused on achievement.  And, you don’t have to show identification to support Girl Scouts.  There seems to be no attempt to limit the number of people who can participate in buying cookies.

            I think the Girl Scouts would be admirable Senators and Representatives.  Then, Congress could go sell cookies.  And learn something!  I always support the Girl Scouts—buy cookies every year—but I know I’d love to smile at my Congressman, and politely tell him to get off my porch.

Beau McCoy’s Folly

            We first noticed Beau McCoy when he ran for state-wide office recently.  What caught our attention was his campaign ad, in which he symbolically smacked the POTUS to the ground.  It seemed…adolescent.  He seemed like a bully.  Not some racist goon, but still, he was behaving like a thug.  His message never achieved the unscrupulous refinement of The Great Voter Fraud Myth or even its clumsier cousin Bridgegate, so the whole campaign came off as crude.

            Now, McCoy seems to be taking up the “dissenter-as-terrorist” theme by supporting his Party’s effort to wipe that pesky 2^nd Congressional District off the political map.  His “Winner-take-all” bill in the Legislature would prevent 2^nd District dissenters from being heard in the electoral college, thus vanquishing the “Evil Enemy.”  This, by him, is a pressing Unicameral issue.

            Surely there are more useful things our “nonpartisan” legislature could be doing.  Nebraska is already a virtual “fly-over” state because of its red unitard.  Having a potential dissenting district adds value to us as a likely “stop-over” for presidential wannabees who may spend more of the billion plus 2016 campaign dollars here.  And shouldn’t Democrats in our midst have some chance of being heard?    Around here, we think diversity enhances democracy.  McCoy seems to disagree.

Political hegemony may have less value than many believe.  Nonetheless it is becoming the signal objective of polarized politicians.  What folks who want to bulldoze dissenters don’t realize is that one day, like Corleone’s henchman, killer Clemenza, they will not be welcome at the wedding.