Bainwarble Secures The Neighborhood

          First citizenship, and then a concealed carry permit. Bainwarble was on a roll. He joined Neighborhood Stop-And-Frisk, and became a stalwart on the night watch. That’s how we came to receive a 3:00 AM telephone call from Police Chief Prowla. It seems Glassshard was securing the neighborhood without the necessary proof of his authorization to carry a concealed firearm.

           “Just take him in, Chief. We’ll collect him after breakfast, and he can come home and get his permit,” I suggested.

           “It’s not that easy,” Prowla responded. “I can’t take him in…”  Ducky Bumps overheard the exchange and interrupted in a whisper, ”Chief Prowla is a convicted felon. He can’t touch Bainwarble’s gun!”

           “Uh…Chief? Can one of your other three officers come and ‘apprehend’ him,” I asked?

           “Well, they’re all three out of town at Sensitivity Training,” Prowla answered. “You know he doesn’t need to be carrying a gun. His yellow Yugo is enough to frighten all but the hardest criminals away. I know your wife has a permit. Can you just send her down here to take this gun home?”

           I knew it was cruel to drag this out, but I couldn’t help myself. “You know Ducky Bumps sleeps with a loaded gun, don’t you Chief,” I asked?

           “Yeah, I’ve heard,” he sighed.

           “Well, would YOU want to wake her up?” Ducky Bumps snickered, and gave away the game. She agreed to go and get the gun, but she arrived with the off-road lights blazing.

Prowla was glad, but he was not happy.