Listening to Number 1                   

            Our number 1 Senator Gip Dungbeetle, home from D.C. on recess from the relentless pace of…passing things, stopped by on his lunch-and-listening tour of the wards and weirdo’s.  Naturally I made the list.  We met at Fast Foodie’s and seated ourselves to await a waitperson.  I told Gip I would buy.

            “Problem I’ve got, Senator,” I said when he asked, “is that nobody in congress is doing anything about jobs.  All we hear is ‘Austerity’ from all you all!”  I wrinkled my eyebrows and drew my mouth wide and flat to show my exasperation.

            “First of all,” he replied, “that’s Congress with a capital ‘C’ if you don’t mind.  Now look here, EVERYBODY knows that the way to create jobs is to cut federal spending and restore America to its former greatness!”

            “Yeah.  I get that a lot,” I said, suddenly sullen.  “What are you thinking?  Another war?  Then dishonorably discharge the walking wounded to save on clean up costs?  That would scream greatness!  And can we just agree to disagree on the capital ‘C’ issue?”

            “Don’t be flippant,” Gip spat!  “Our greatness comes from thriving citizens and low unemployment.  Consumers!  Who have money to spend because we encouraged the wealthy to create jobs for them!  To take care of them!

            “Here comes our server,” I remarked, giving up on the speaking part of this silly exercise.

            “Gip Dungbeetle,” he said smiling at the server. “I’ll take a Number Two, on him!”